The Bucket List That Changed My Life (And How To Create Yours)

A 15-year journey from dreaming to doing—and everything I learned along the way

In January 2010, I sat down with a fresh notebook and wrote at the top: “It’s not death that man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” – Marcus Aurelius.

Then I did something that would change everything: I wrote down 100+ things I wanted to do before I died. Yes, a bucket list.

Skydiving. Learning French. Seeing the Northern Lights. Living abroad. Riding a camel in the desert. Fire walking (seriously, what was I thinking?).

That list became my roadmap to an unbound life. I didn’t look at it daily, monthly, hell sometimes I went years without looking at it. It wasn’t about the list itself.

Fifteen years later, with 46 states visited, three continents explored, and countless adventures under my belt, I’ve learned something profound: the magic isn’t in checking boxes. It’s in staying open to possibilities.

The Dreams That Evolved (And the Permission to Let Them)

Looking back at my original list now, I laugh at some entries and feel nostalgic about others. “Learn to drive a stick shift” felt important in 2010—now I can barely find a manual transmission. “Become a wine enthusiast” seemed sophisticated—until I returned from Europe with over 100 bottles and realized I’d already become one without trying.

Some dreams simply outgrew me. Skydiving went from “absolutely!” to “catch me on the right day” (and that day hasn’t come yet). Scuba diving lost its appeal entirely, though my son became a certified rescue diver. Ballroom dancing? Meh.

Here’s what I wish someone had told me then: it’s okay to outgrow your dreams.

Your bucket list isn’t a contract with your former self. It’s a living document that evolves as you do. The divorced mom who wrote that list in 2010 was different from the military wife who moved to Germany in 2012, who was different from the empty-nester launching a business.

Each version of myself added new dreams and released others. That’s not failure—that’s growth.

But here’s what stayed consistent: the desire to keep reaching for more. The refusal to settle into a life that felt too small. That core hunger for adventure, for meaning, for experiences that would expand who I was becoming.

Bucket list evolution: comparing dreams from 2010 to adventures achieved today

The Power of “What If?”

The real magic happened when I stopped asking “How?” and started asking “What if?”

What if we moved to Europe? What if we said yes to fostering teenagers? What if we took that 4-week road trip even though it seemed insane with four kids?

“How” focuses on obstacles. “What if” focuses on possibilities.

When my first marriage ended, survival mode kicked in as a single mom. But somewhere in that struggle, I found myself writing a bucket list—dreams for a future I could barely imagine. Then life opened an unexpected door. Meeting my husband and his Army assignment to Germany transformed everything. That’s when we started turning those written dreams into family adventures, kids and all.

The shift from “How can I?” to “What if I could?” changed everything.

The Adventures That Weren’t on Any List

Here’s the plot twist: some of my most incredible experiences never appeared on that original list.

Standing in a volcanic crater in the Galápagos, watching ancient tortoises lumber past. Joining a random parade in Deadwood, South Dakota (or was that somewhere in Arizona?). Taking a 4-week cross-country road trip with 4 kids in a Chevy Traverse. Wild. Memorable. Maybe a little traumatic.

Changing our flight home from Big Island, Hawaii on a whim to hop over to Oahu to pay our respects at Pearl Harbor—checking it off my husband’s bucket list. Living in Germany for years when “live abroad” seemed as impossible as traveling to the moon. Fostering children and raising my niece through her teenage years.

The bucket list didn’t make these moments happen—but the mindset did.

When you cultivate a spirit of adventure, when you say yes to opportunities that arise, when you stay curious about the world around you, magic happens in the spaces between your plans.

The Reset That Changes Everything

The biggest lesson from my bucket list journey? Life is a series of resets.

Divorce reset me. Empty nest reset me. Moving across the ocean reset me. Each time, I could have closed down, played it safe, stuck to the familiar.

Instead, I pulled out that list—and wrote new ones.

Because here’s what I’ve learned: the end of one chapter is the beginning of another. The kids growing up and moving away isn’t the end of adventure—it’s the beginning of a different kind of freedom.

Now, at this stage of life, I’m not just crossing things off an old list. I’m creating new ones. My kid is getting his pilot’s license while I’m still figuring out if I want to take a flight lesson. They’re planning cross-country moves while I’m eyeing a Southeast Asia trip. We’re all becoming the adventurers we’re meant to be.It was a philosophy they were raised on and are embracing in their own lives—from saying yes to opportunities that scare them to unknowingly checking off items that were on their mom’s bucket list so many years ago.

“Be scared, but do it anyway.”

My youngest daughter has those words tattooed on her body—proof that the bucket list mindset became more than just my adventure guide. It became our family motto.

What Nobody Tells You About Bucket Lists

Here’s the truth about bucket lists that nobody talks about:

They’re not about the destinations—they’re about the person you become while chasing them.

Standing three feet from the Mona Lisa didn’t change my life. But having the audacity to believe I deserved to see her? That changed everything.

Learning to say “yes” to opportunities, even when they scared me. Learning to plan trips I couldn’t quite afford yet. Learning to navigate foreign countries with kids in tow. Learning to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

Each adventure taught me something new about my own capability. Each “yes” expanded my comfort zone. Each stamp in my passport was proof that I was living, not just existing.

They’re not about perfection—they’re about intention.

My road trip wasn’t Instagram-perfect. The kids complained. We got lost. Someone was always in a bad mood. But we saw 20 states in four weeks, created memories that still make us laugh, and proved to ourselves that we could handle anything together.

My time in Germany wasn’t seamless cultural immersion. I butchered the language daily, got lost in grocery stores, and felt like an outsider more often than not. But I did it. I lived abroad when it seemed impossible. I expanded my world and my children’s understanding of what was possible.

They’re not about completion—they’re about evolution.

I’ll never finish my bucket list because I keep adding to it. As I grow, my dreams grow. As my circumstances change, my possibilities change. As my children become adults, new adventures become available.

That’s the point. It’s not a to-do list to complete—it’s a living document that grows with you.

The Ripple Effect

Here’s what I didn’t expect: my bucket list journey didn’t just change my life—it changed my family’s relationship with possibility.

My kids watched me say yes to adventures. They saw me plan trips, navigate challenges, and come home with stories. They learned that dreams aren’t just for other people—they’re for us too.

Now they’re creating their own adventures. From moving across the country for college to running their own business. Living unbound in their own ways.

The bucket list became a family philosophy: life is meant to be lived fully, at every stage, in every season.

The List as Life Philosophy

My bucket list became more than entertainment—it became a life philosophy. A commitment to staying curious, staying open, staying unbound by other people’s expectations of what my life should look like.

It taught me that “exotic” is relative (calamari seemed adventurous in 2010). That some dreams are worth holding onto (visiting all 50 states—46 down, 4 to go!). That others are worth releasing (sorry, fire walking). That the best adventures often find you when you’re brave enough to say yes.

Most importantly, it taught me that an unbound life isn’t about being reckless or constantly moving. It’s about being intentional with your one wild and precious life. It’s about designing a life that excites you, regardless of what stage you’re in. It’s about the journey. The Unbound Journey.

Your Turn to Get Unbound

Bucket list planning materials including blank journal and travel inspiration

I still have that original list, complete with my 2025 updates and commentary. Some entries make me laugh (“just why?”), others make me proud, and a few still make me dream… space tourism might happen in my lifetime.

But the real power wasn’t in the list itself—it was in giving myself permission to want more than the life I had settled for.

Permission to dream bigger than your current circumstances.

Permission to believe you deserve adventure, not just responsibility.

Permission to evolve, to change your mind, to want different things at different stages.

Permission to start before you’re ready.

Your bucket list doesn’t have to be 100 items. It doesn’t have to include skydiving or exotic travel. It just has to be yours.

Maybe it’s finally taking that photography class. Learning to paint. Visiting that small town you drive through every week but never stop in. Having dinner alone at that fancy restaurant. Starting the business. Taking the trip. Having the conversation.

Maybe it’s as simple as watching the sunrise from your own backyard or as complex as changing careers at 50.

The point isn’t to check boxes. The point is to wake up to the possibilities around you and say yes when opportunity knocks.

Because life doesn’t end when you have kids or when they grow up. It doesn’t end when you get divorced. It doesn’t end when you turn 30, 50, or 60.

It just gets unbound.

The Invitation

If you’re reading this and feeling that familiar tug—that whisper that says your life could be bigger, fuller, more adventurous—this is your invitation.

You don’t need permission from anyone else. You don’t need to wait for the perfect time or the perfect circumstances. You don’t need to have it all figured out.

You just need to start.

Write the list. Book the trip. Take the class. Have the conversation. Make the move.

Your unbound life is waiting.

And I’m here to help you navigate it—the dreams, the resets, the adventures, and yes, even the spectacular failures that teach us who we’re becoming.

Because your story? It’s just getting started.

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Ready to start your own bucket list journey? I’m here to help you plan the adventures, navigate the resets, and live unbound. Because at every stage of life, in every season, your dreams matter. Sign-up for my Unbound Bucket List to start your own journey or email me at connect@unboundave.com to plan your next adventure.

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